aku emo...aku gembeng...aku cengeng..aku bingit...aku sedih...
*On Your Speaker

Really it feels like a mirror image, how you are being treated now. That was how i it used to be for me. I was in all places, mind and body.Especially at a tender age.

They did not seem to care. Or so it seemed. It might not be.


Whatever the reason was for their lack of compassion, lack of tact, lack of sensitivity, i know now the root of it all was my folly. Now its yours, so you gotta face it.
I know now my life seemed better than yours, but being the closed kin,
Believing and trusting the one-and-only-pain-in -the-arse-you-know-who, when that person equally doesn't care. He doesn't even exist to be exact.

Brace yourself, just ignore their sarcasm. Even as a child we did not even like
it there, so work hard to escape the gate of doom. Again.

Even till now , i feel that our existence seems like a burden. Everything they did might not be sincere. Even till now, it's still better to live apart. Cos, we can't understand each other because you only listen to yourselves. It's okay though. We never hate you. We love you and we know you love us too.

Or maybe you just prefer to be distant. Prefer not to show that you care.


One thing for sure, some relations are mend to be broken, probably unable to resolve. I wonder how long this will last.

Is this the best you people can do to save our relationship?

Is he your best choice?

The one? The apple of your eye?

If that's it..
i need to SPIT!

dah la...
aku emo...aku gembeng...aku cengeng..aku bingit...aku sedih...

aku dah ngantuk...

Armahum Sudirman Mode..(especially pesan abang and malam ini..)

wah..pagi2 gini dgr lagu arwah Sudirman best tangkap lentok sey...hari ni semua lagu2 dia me dgr...

Sudirman Overdose ar aku..!!

ps: Azah, lagu Pesan Abang best tau...kalau abang camtu best ekk...

PESAN ABANG (Basri..)
Adikku muda remaja
Awasi bila melangkah
Wajahmu manis bak bunga
Pasti ramai yang tergoda

Tidak dilarang kau bersuka
Asal tahu kan batasnya
Jangan sampai adik terlupa
Harapan dan cita-cita

Ibu dan ayah
Menaruh harapan
Agar kau berjaya
Di hari kemudian

Bila tiba waktu petang
Dari sekolah kau pulang
Bergalas buku di pinggang
Siapa lihat pasti tertawan

Adik masih bersekolah
Awas segala dugaan
Adik kan ambil ambil periksa
Agar senang masa depan


imagine abang sing to yu like dat...Lmfao...mesti nangis ar..:p

sikit nah isi....

My house dah ketandusan junk food, only left with the ones zul-iim got on his last day of school. Left with Cheese Balls and Green Peas. And that makes me super stress cos i need to munch something. Ive eaten up all choc cakes, and cookies and im currently not in the mood for sweets and chocs which are basically left at home. I really have to munch something badly, Cheese Balls and Green Peas it is.
To my deadly horror..(mcm cerita hantu...) the contents of the Green Peas was mere pittance and i could actually count it - 5 ! Take a look ar..rabak siak!!! I remembered my Calbee's potato chips was just as bad..bole kira sey...




The contents of junk crackers are getting more and more pathetic. Be it Twisties, Calbee, Cheetos..even the Nestle Milo Nuggets la sey...
Luckily the Cheeseballs wasn't dat bad.
















but still, sikit nah isi....

I wish i still live at JRT, turun je dah sampai kedai. Now i have to walk and cross the over...haiya...

takpe..besok beli aiskrim tub..

* anyway..dis song has got nuthin to do wif dis post..just was listening to it in ma head so..

i think my daughter needs help..but what is really wrong wif her?
I dunno how to put this, to believe or not to believe. Eversince she was a kid, she always has this 'seventh-sense' to feel, to sense, to see or hear the 'other side of the world'. I remembered when she was 4, she ran out of her room and tell me that a boy was sitting at the computer table. There were other many incidents though, but i'd rather not write it now cos its erm..2 am..and i'm kinda alone...

anyway...

Tonight she felt exactly it and told me she wanted to sleep in my room. Of course i was a little agitated, anxious and a lil afraid.


I remembered, she was once brought to a malay makcik urut' by Nenek Moyang (my buddy,Mawar nyer nenek la tu..) when she kept crying non-stop due to fever. Was it my folly to main ikut je., i dunno la sey..but this nenek urut was a lil weird cos she is well-known to cure people by stepping on their bodies, beat them up hard and twist their muscles.


And now i wondered why the heck did i bring my baby to see her . I remembered vividly how that Makcik urut grimaced in pain when she touched my baby Putri. She screamed " ouch, sakit!" when she touch Putri's hand. "Ouch sakit!" when she held my daughter's body. I remembered, Putri, who was 6 or 7 months old at that tym did not even wanna look at her face when she finished that 'berubat'. Menyesal tak sudah for bringing her to see her..cos its a waste or tym and money. and things could turn ugly in the future. Like now. ..


Okay, i'm not blaming that tukang urut for her special sense of the 'alam ghaib'..but..but...haiz...

Back to my daughter's state of mind, tonight she was really down and told me more incidents she had kept bottled in her mind for soooo long. She told me she still sees it many times. Be it in school, at home, in the streets..I asked her why only NOW she confided in me. In between tears, she told me she wasnt ready. and was afraid 'that thing' might hear her..or harm her. She was really stressed out i let her cry in my arms. She would cover her ears and tell me to keep quiet few times, before continuing her story, some parts in whispers, some parts in rage, some parts in madness. Was it stress? Really, i actually felt a lil afraid when she did dat, but i had to be brave and explain to her that Allah is the only ONE she has to fear.


But, what else can i do to help?

Now she is sound asleep on my bed....goodnight kiss to yu my dear Putri..



Goodnight kiss in your nightgown
Lavender in your bed
So innocent as you lie down
Sweet dreams that run through your head

Are you lonely without Mommy's love?
I want you to know I'd die for that moment
You're just a poor girl
Afraid of this cruel world
Taken away from it all...

if u dun feel like working one day cos u HATE YOUR JOB..

When you have an “I Hate My Job” day, try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the
phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement, “Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested”. Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, “I am so glad I do not work in the Thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson.”

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS.

so..if u dun feel like working one day cos u HATE YOUR JOB, think again..

article from : http://ixpats.com/

baik but terbalik..selalu buat, but tak perasan...
curik this article from a multiplier fwen,
http://kbakti.multiply.com

1. Amalan kenduri arwah beberapa malam yg dilakukan oleh keluarga si mati selepas sesuatu kematian (malam pertama, kedua, ketiga, ketujuh & seterusnya) adalah terbalik dari apa yg dianjurkan oleh Rasulullah di mana Rasulullah telah menganjurkan jiran tetangga memasak makanan untuk keluarga si mati untuk meringankan kesusahan & kesedihan mereka.


Keluarga tersebut telah ditimpa kesedihan, terpaksa pula menyedia makanan & belanja untuk mereka yg datang membaca tahlil. Tidakkah mereka yg hadir makan kenduri tersebut khuatir kalau-kalau mereka termakan harta anak yatim yg ditinggalkan oleh si mati atau harta peninggalan si mati yg belum dibahagikan kepada yg berhak menurut Islam?


2. Kalau hadir ke kenduri walimatul urus (kenduri kahwin) orang kerap Assalamu'alaikum berisi (hadiah wang yg diberi semasa bersalam). Kalau tak ada duit nak dikepit dalam tangan, maka segan ia nak pergi makan kenduri. Tapi kalau ia menziarah orang mati, tidak segan pula Assalamu'alaikum tak berisi. Sepatutnya kalau menziarah keluarga si matilah kita patut memberi sedekah. Kalau ke kenduri kahwin, tak bagi pun tak apa kerana tuan rumah panggil untuk diberi makan bukan untuk ia menambah pendapatan.

3. Ketika menghadiri majlis-majlis kita berpakaian cantik kemas & segak tapi bila mengadap Allah baik di rumah maupun di masjid, pakaian lebih kurang saja bahkan ada yg tak berbaju. Tidakkah ini suatu perbuatan yg terbalik.


4. Kalau menjadi tetamu di rumah orang & di beri jamuan, kita rasa segan nak makan sampai habis apa yg dihidangkan kerana rasa segan & malu, sedangkan yg dituntut dibanyakkan makan & dihabiskan apa yg dihidang supaya tuan rumah rasa gembira & tidak membazir.
















5. Kalau bersolat sunat di masjid amat rajin, tapi kalau di rumah, sangat malas. Sedangkan sebaik-baiknya solat sunat banyak dilakukan di rumah seperti yg dianjurkan oleh Rasulullah untuk mengelakkan rasa riak.


6. Bulan puasa adalah bulan mendidik nafsu termasuk nafsu makan yg berlebihan tapi kebanyakan orang mengaku bahawa dalam carta perbelanjaan setiap rumah orang Islam akan kita dapati perbelanjaan di bulan puasa adalah yg tertinggi dalam setahun. Sedangkan sepatutnya perbelanjaan di bulan puasa yg terendah. Bukankah terbalik amalan kita?


7. Kalau nak mengerjakan haji, kebanyakan orang akan membuat kenduri sebelum bertolak ke Mekah & apabila balik dari Mekah tak buat kenduri pun. Anjuran berkenduri dalam Islam antaranya ialah kerana selamat dari bermusafir, maka dibuat kenduri, bukan kerana nak bermusafir, maka dibuat kenduri. Bukankah amalan ini terbalik? Atau kita mempunyai tujuan lain.

8. Semua ibubapa amat bimbang kalau-kalau anak mereka gagal dalam periksa. Maka dihantarlah ke kelas tuisyen walau pun banyak belanjanya. Tapi kalau anak tak boleh baca Quran atau solat, tak bimbang pula bahkan tak mahu hantar tuisyen baca Quran atau kelas khas mempelajari Islam. Kalau guru tuisyen sanggup dibayar lebih daripada Tok Guru Quran. Bukankah terbalik amalan kita? Kita sepatutnya lebih berbimbang jika anak tidak dapat baca Al Quran atau bersolat dari tidak lulus periksa.

9. Kalau bekerja mengejar rezeki Allah tak kira siang malam, pagi petang, mesti pergi kerja. Hujan atau ribut tetap diharungi kerana hendak mematuhi peraturan kerja. Tapi ke rumah Allah (masjid) tak hujan, tak panas, tak
ribut pun tetap tak datang ke masjid. Sungguh tak malu manusia begini, rezeki Allah diminta tapi nak ke
rumahNya segan & malas.


10. Seorang isteri kalau nak keluar rumah sama ada dengan suami atau tidak, bukan main lagi berhias. Tapi kalau duduk di rumah, masyaAllah. Sedangkan yg dituntut seorang isteri itu berhias untuk suaminya, bukan berhias untuk orang lain. Perbuatan amalan yg terbalik ini membuatkan rumahtangga kurang bahagia

me, my scrapdiary, and "sajak abangku'..


With all the crisis that has been going on in my family, till up to now, suddenly urged me to look for my scrapbooks i kept for years. Being a doodler, my scrap ie diary is always amazingly messy but artistic..nevertheless, one article really touched me. Eventhough some of the words are really out of place, corny and somewhat cheesy, I remembered i was 13 when i wrote this. Here it is word for word directly from my scrapjunk diary:


Abang.
Bilakan engkau akan menjelma lagi
Di dalam hidupku
Bilakah engkau akan ketawa dan bergurau senda bersama kami,
Walaupon kau ada,
Adanya abang hanyalah bagaikan suatu bayangan sahaja
Kau datang dan menghilang,

Abangku..
Ku tau isi hatimu
kau ingin bersama kami
tetapi tidak mampu
adikmu tahu engkau kecewa
dengan sikap kami sekeluarga
kerana tidak memahami
isi hatimu dan dirimu

abang..
aku rindukan kasih sayangmu
sebagai seorang abang untukku
yang pernah aku kenali dahulu

abangku
aku harap kau mengerti hatiku
adikmu yang sentiasa menunggu
saat dan waktu untuk bersama lagi bersamamu

oh abangku..
sebelum aku menghembuskan nafas terakhirku ini (walauweh soo dramatic siak)
Inginku ucapkan terima kasih
kerana engkaulah abang
dunia dan akhirat
sealiran darah denganku
benih seibu dan sebapa
abangku yang tersayang
kami sayangi kamu...

.. the reason why i wrote this, i thought by the time im 28, we'll reconcile, make amends and will play 'dam' like dulu2..but i guess, some things doesnt change...

Edward Tricomi, MY FATHER IN LAW and Saiful Apek...




















When i look at celebrity stylist, Edward Tricomi and actor, Saiful Apek..i spot kinda similiarity on their face features, long-jawed face with cheekbones..

and then i see my father in law...

hehehehe...macam sama la sket2...ROFLMFAO!

what should i do?
i sooooooooooooooo wanna post it but i dunno whose side im on now.who to trust.Both sounded so convincing. Actually, i had an eency weency trust on the 'untrusted' one, cos i've experienced it. But then again, i know she could lie. WOnder how long this will last. Still i feel that they hasn't done enough. Or probably can't do much? If they can't do much, she hasnt done much either, what should i do?

what could i have done?








what should i do now?