I remembered feeling so depressed when i realise i'm gonna have you..I even remembered wanting to kill you. I was lost cos i didnt even plan to have you. I wondered if u will make my life miserable. If you will take away my freedom. Everything happened so fast. Thank god its the Ramadhan. You know i will never kill you. NOt in this holy month. Not when i have sworn to NEVER do IT again. I kept you. I prayed with you. I've grown to love you. But,the fear of having you in this world started to thickens as the months passed. I started to fear almost about evrything. I even warned my kids about what they would expect of my temper after you will be here in this world. I know, i thought i know i will definitely get the blues. Definitely.
But no..
TAURUS..you are better than i expected..
Life is a miracle. I never thought that every day is a joy now. I look forward to touch and see you evry morning. I look forward to feed you, and to caress you every minute. I wanna hold you every night.Even if u wail so loudly, i will smile or even laugh at you. Maybe because its been years since i hold a baby in my hand. And my two wonderful VIRGOS are especially sweet and caring towards me and you, little TAURUS. They love you and love me even more. I remembered how you VIRGOS help to clean the house when i overslept with you baby TAURUS. See how your sister and brother really loves and care for you? Now looking at you asleep, i itch to go over to touch and wake you. Especially when i know u now are able to recognise me. You know us, too. Your loving PISCES, who dotes on you. We remember how painful it was to see you in the surgery room. All we could do was hearing you cry when they did the bloof transfusion. I remembered how painful it was for you. You let them wickedly undress you, blindfolded you and put you in the blue light. You let them prick your hands and feet. You suffered as a little child TAURUS..I won't let you suffer again.
I was wrong. I was sceptical..You were NEVER a mistake. You changed our lives. Your existence is a miracle joy. Everything seems so wonderful. Never mind if you poo every day, cos i want yu to poo. You dont wanna have a stomache upset do you? Never mind if you spluge out ur milk on my shirt, or dirty my mattress. You are just a baby, TAURUS. I love you. Never mind if u wanna scream and cry for no reason at all. I was never stressed. In fact, all your little actions, your grimaced expression when u cry, your little shrieking voice, makes me laugh. I always love talking to you. About life. About me. We all love sharing stories with you. We read to you. We talk to you little TAURUS. You can't really understand what goin on..but we know, you know we all truly love you.
Forget how sceptical and depressed i was. Forget how i used to feel that you are a mistake.
TAURUS..you are better than i expected.
Really. You will be a good boy when you grow up, a great man, shy, strong willed,uncompromisingly loyal to your friends stolid, tenacious and determined. Possessing tremendous willpower and self-discipline,their greatest satisfaction derives from results produced directly by their personal efforts.
I love you..