I nEEd To LEt ouT a PRIMAL SCREAM...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHH...!!
Semalam baru first day je dah mintak tolong jiran to send my son to school cos its raining, and I can't handle it. And today, everything is smooth but its just the second day and my body ache like mampus sey. Seriously, i could feel this 'nyut-nyut' kat my left leg. My tengkuk cramp, probably from tidur duduk tym breastfeeding, i dun like to feed him lying down cos wen i do dat, the whole bed, as well as my baju and him will be drenched with my milk. Then kena salin and cuci lagi cadar.. tedious sey. My pinggang is soooooooooooooo super sakit sey. Senang cakap, aching all over! Headaches.. cramps.. aarrghhh..!! Today Nashrul pulak petang2 nangis je.. maybe cos im feeling moody today sey.Just dun feel like talking to anyone. I even tersnapped at iim for talking too much. I just have to control myself. I have to stop being too sensitive over small litle things. I think its probably my aching body dat causes me to wanna let out a primal scream. Its soo warm even on rainy days. Aircon doesnt work. Even with the fan on my face, it doesnt stop me from perspiring like hell! Dah la sakit2 badan, berpeluh, baby crying, iim so noisy, plus the multiple trips to and from school.. so let me heave a sigh first.. then let me breathe in some air.. and allow to AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

GOR-BLOG
its 12.44 am now.. and shhh... my baby is fast asleep.. and my two kids are snoring in the next room..and Alhamdulillah im finally HOME! Sighs.. i thought I was lookin forward to home..like macam lama sey terperap kat CCK.. but now im back..super lonely sey.. miss the bising2..especially my adik Azah tu la.. (sob!sob!) dengan gelagat dia wif dat emo hairstyle dulu2 tu..wakakaka.. BUT HOOOORAY...!! Im back wif my pc again.. writin my GOR-BLOG past midnite..so no worries Azah.. AR WIzard coming right up!! Its Recording tym..huhuhu... (u know i know sua ar...)

Im not feeling too good actually. Sebab tadi waktu nak balik tu me tersungkur jatuh in the longkang sey. Lucky tau i wasnt carrying Nashrullah.usually i do.. only today tu i suh my adik angkat dia cos dia dah teary eye tu.. sedih sbb Nash nak balik. Now, my pinggang sakit, my kaki kiri lebam, my hands pon lenguh..aiyak... bad luck sey. Dalam sakit2 tu pon sempat paisey.. tengok2 sekeliling if jiran tetangga nampak aksi tak lawa kaki masok longkang.. haiz..
A big warm huggies to Sham for cleaning the entire house, and do some makeover especially to the kid's room. Of course, when its movin in after a month's stay, banyak unpackin to do. You know, the baju2, the gifts i got, the toiletries, boiling new water..and before i knew it, i found dat belambak jugak keje nak buat nih..Sham told me to rest.. and sleep , cos im stil dalam hari, and baru je jatuh dalam longkang (lmfao..) but wen Nashrullah is asleep, i tot y dun i clear and keep all those stuffs right away. and yea, ordered McDonald's ( cos Syasya lapar..) (and thks to Mawar haha..lupa la nombor Mc tu..)


And while I'm writing this, my mind is in a turmoil. Lotsa things in ma head, plus am tired, but not yet sleepy. And hmm. while i rub my bruise on my hand and knee, it seems like the heavyfall i had in the longkang seemed to tell me that someone has been backstabbin me and bitchin about me..but who cares.. am too tired to even masok campur..its like SO WHATEVER...

and when i look at my baby boy so sound asleep in my bed now, it soothes me a lot..i guess he has no problems adapting to his new home. His very own, dat is. Mula2 its da KKH, for a week, then my mum's for a month. Now you're safely back home dear Nashrullah. Sleep well, sleep tight.. besok ibu pakaikan baju baru ok..;)

damn.. dah pukul 2.36 am sey..

Rashes!!

Oh dear..it seems dat his rashes is getting worst ler..!! Who else but my baby Nashrullah la.. Memang before the exchange transfusion was done, the doctors ada ckp dat he might get rashes and if he does we have to bring him back to KK.. the thought of the two alphabets yang sangat sangat gue tak berkenan, makes me consistently say to myself, its milk rash.. milk rash.. nothing but just da common kurap susu dat selalu baby kena la kan. I wont be too agitated if he hadnt done that transfusion thing. He will be jabbing his one month jab soon.. and i pray hard that his rash will soon go. Tengok macam lagi teruk sey. Dulu kat pipi and neck je.. now dah sampai ke leher, head, and some on his hands.. Waaaaa....!!!!:(( Phobia sey nak bawak dia gi poly.. takut si kecik tu kena check darah lagi... kena poke lagi..aiyooo... skool nak bukak ley,, i cant afford to ulang alik KK lagi tau Ash.., ibu harap Baby Ash cepat sembuh ekk.. please let it just be kurap susu...

anyway kan.. for baby rashes, after many visitors dat came and comment, mcm2 pendapat i dgr.. so here:

Kalau ada rashes...

- dun ever use powder.. ever!
- letak gincu merah on the rash..it will go in no time!
- just sapu lotion je..
- let it be natural.. put nothing but dab it with warm water
- dun ever count the rash.. or even look at it.. it will multiply!!



Hmm... confuse den...!! Yang mana betul sey..haiz..

i guess the best is to seek professional help but trust me, i super HATE going to the polyclinic...sighs sighs.. nanti tunggu berejam2.. jumpe doctor kejap je.. dia kata.. " ok.. here is a referral letter to KK.. you have to go there immediately.." like cet.. buang masa kan tunggu lama2 kat poly wen al they have to do is toss us back to the hospital.. and sampai hospital pon kena the four letter word.. WAIT...

ITS OUR ANNIVERSARY DARLING!!!

Yang ke berapa? I always hate to count the years... i dunno y.. selalu dari dulu if org tanye.how long u guys know each other? we say..baru dua bulan...wakakakakaka..
okay.. dat was lame.. but its true we always say dat..haha..kwang kwang kwang...
and ada la satu member tell me bouut the 7 year itch thingy.. erm.. still yet to find out wat was dat all about..

So on this very special date am gonna share the flash i did specially for my dearest Sham.. for being such a wonderful man in my heart, always there when i need you, picking me up when i fell, and most of all loving me with all your heart. Though we had our many painful pasts, our many fights, our many bitter tears, it gave colours to our life, teaching us about patience, endurance, and knowing each other better.. still our love is stronger everyday, despite all the many obstacles we went through, despite the pain we caused many, i am still happy (and i have no doubt you are too )to be with you.. and InsyaAllah..hopefully till the end..in Heaven..

so click below to know wat i mean..

My Lover

OKay.. ada liriks yang salah and berterabuh ..messy sket.. cos dat was the first time i did this flash thing.. and i tell ya..its very tedious sey. But for my sayang nyer pasal.. jadi jugak..hehehe... i did dat like July last year? last year ke? ada at the end of the flash date dia..INgat nak buat baru nyer.. but am still at Mum's.. so.. lain kali je la..

Oh ya..thks to my sistas and frens yang smsed me, wishin me the best for my anniversary dis year! The best gift of all for our anniversary dis year is of course from The Almighty.. our cute, handsome, bouncing baby boy! Alhamdulillah...



ps 2 Mawar:
dis is da link to the other flash i did dulu..

Free Them

( Date Taken 29/05/2007 at the hospital... ape dah sengkek nyer hospital..kain blue sume dah bes ke? Amacam leh pink colour pulak nih... haiz... )


( Ward 5619... kwang kwang kwang... ha..! APe tenung2 nombor tu lelama.. gatal nak beli nombor la tu.. )








Alhamdulillah... Nashrullah selamat pulang ke rumah after 1 week in hospital..gosh seems like months, boy! All his culture results are negative. His blood cells are back to normal, thks to the 5 day antibiotics dosage, religiously poking thro his veins throughout the stay. Hopefully that made him a stronger and smarter ( after the blood transfusion ) boy, InsyaAllah.

tengok tu..dah pandai tiarap ( taken 01/06/2007 )

To Be Continued la.. NASHrullah calling me....